disintegrate

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i am writing at such a weird time when i should be sleeping and preparing for tml's paper. i am suffering from the lack of coherant and the stifiling amount of pol science knowledge in my brain. i guess i am really disappointed in myself. i have just completely not learn my lesson on studying earlier and playing less. i have no confidence of taking tml's paper because i know i din work hard. yet there is this selfish desire to ask God to be merciful and gracious. What am i thinking? i know i cant just fall back on Him and expect Him to pave the way when i have no worked hard throughout this sem.

but yet i know i never learn. because i have always been a last minute person. i am sorry, God for letting you down time and time again.

;

but let me press on towards the goal you have called me to. let this be a lesson for me to rely on you more and less on myself. let this exam be truly yours and not mine. at the end of the day, your glory means more to me and i know i cant disappoint you.